Wednesday, January 6, 2010

looking back..

This is not my birthday post, neither is this my new year post... just that over the 10 days trip.. my mind never stop thinking... yes.. i want to put this in a record and counting the blessings of Christ in my life.. at the same time, also keep myself moving forward to my Goal.. oh ya.. in case you don't know, I am a Christian.. *sigh... if I have to say that...

Oscar was never my name until I turned 18th. My dad bought me the very 1st PC. That pc was quite a junky one with big CPU and box-like monitor. Key board is white poping-out buttons and my mouse.. last me for 2 years? that is the gadget that died off earliest. I bought that PC from "orange", costed us about RM4k. That was a huge sum for us and that was the very 1st "dian-na0" (computer pronounced in Hokkien) in Tan's family. Just few days after the purchase, dad, mum and myself went on to shop for a "proper" PC table. The table is greywish office table with 3 drawers at the right bottom and the top drawer is lockable. We carried that back with our Pajero. We rearranged the furniture in my room and there we have a PC or probably I should say, I had a PC.

Oscar was a nick that I read in a paper. I was so active in mIRc and I just so addicted to it but only at night. :) I am not a discipline person and I thank God that I am just not a PC Game person. Those days to get on-line, we need to unplug the telephone connecting cable and plug in a cable which connect the modem to our telephone socket. So it means, no in-coming call from 8pm onward. :) That funny dial up sound is exactly the same as you pick up your house phone and dial "1515" following up with "dwen-dwen-zhh....gr....dwen-dwen... ". Over the weekend during the peak period, probably need to redial several times until it was connected. I met my 1st GF via mIRc and made lots of friends via that. mIRc then replaced by ICQ with that "ooh-ooh" message notification noise. I spent most of my time with my 1st gf on ICQ. Soon after that is MSN then Friendster. Now I am hooked up with facebook. I just couldn't live without checking what's up with my page and anybody commented on my pictures etc. Yes, I do enjoy praises, but I prefer "instructive comments"... :)

I wasn't "outstanding" in my primary school era. I was just an ordinary fat little boy who hate PJK warming up session. (PJK is an Outdoor Exercise Period. It is compulsory.) Don't get me wrong, being a boy I like all the competitive activities but sorry, just never the warming up session. Apart from regular 1,2,3,4; 2,2,3,4... warming up standard moves, we need to do a light jogging rounding the school and that means running in front of all the ground floor classrooms. Yeah, I hate that. Kids just never know what is light jogging and we just did it like it was a competition with total grand prize of billion dollars and being a "fat little boy", it tells you why I hate that so terribly much. My favorite games back then was basketball. I have no idea how I got hooked up but I enjoy the satisfaction of seeing the ball goes into the net, even till this very day... I did quite well back then.. :) but I stopped playing since I moved to SG. Remember during one of the conversation with my cousin, he mentioned this..the type of sport would change according to you age. Enough saying of that...

As I wasn't outstanding in my UPSR exam, I was enrolled to "Transition Class" or more commonly known as "Remove Class". I was in one of the lousiest class with dozen of gangster-wanna-be. Burning RM5 in the class just made me so damn admired one of the bad boy in my class. (RM5 was big in my era okie?). KPB (Kelas Peralihan B) is the name of my class. B doesn't stand for Best. KPG was a good class following with KPF, KPE so that would probably give you some idea where was I. The 1st exam, I was amongst the Top 5 in the class. :) That was the very 1st time I could show my mum that my ranking is within 1 numberic-digit. Mum was amazed by that, in fact we all did. It doesn't matter that I was in the lousy class but the ranking is all the matter. Being Top 5 back then, which also means teachers would pay more attention to me. From there, I gain my confident bit by bit and there, I improved. The next year, I was in 1B (Form 1 class B). I did well... in poorer class... haha...

Form 2, I moved to Class 2H. School restructured in order to get the class smaller and also to get us be prepared for coming PMR exam. Class 2H wasn't the best class in the school. The class basically was formed up by those "better" students in the "poorer" class. I joint the class with few others friends. I remember the 1st day I went into the class, there are so many new faces. It was a total reshuffle. I sat next to Michael, one of my primary school classmate. The seat was last row from the teacher's table. Michael is a quiet person. He smiles a lot but he doesn't speak much. The 1st exam was a test for myself. I studied hard and I was in Top 10. I wasn't happy with that as being Top 5 all the pass 2 years just made my ego grows big as moon. I push harder for the 2nd exam and I managed to get myself closer to the top. English is always the pain in my ass... (even until now... ) Nobody tell me English is so important. Back then, everyone was telling me Malay is so important that if you fail the subject probably you would not be able to pursue further. Damn it. I wish somebody have told me Malay is just a language for 3 countries...I totally neglect my English.

There was a time my teacher gave me an assignment. He scribbled a name on a paper. "George" he wrote. He told me to go to class 3D (?) to get this guy to see him. I walked up to the stairs and politely knocked on the door. I spoke to the teacher in the class that I was instructed to pass a message to somebody in the class. I then pronounced his name.. "Geo-r-ge".....yes... i did it in Malay pronunciation. I remember vividly how the teacher looked at me with his eyes open so wide and asked me... am I at the right class.... That was really bad experience. Please, those who are parents, tell your next generation English is so important. It is an international language and Malay is just so unimportant. The politicians just play over it and making the people suffer. How far can your language goes my dear MALAY-sian... stop dreaming... opps.. swayed away...

Form 3, I did quite well then I scored...ehem... well... in my PMR (don't know how to explain but it is basically a nation-wide exam). So then, I was again reshuffled. I was placed in class 4S2 (Form 4 Science Class 2) and this time round, the number says it all. 4s1 and 4s2 were good classes. The result for both classes were at tie. Of course, some would argue that S1 was the best, I leave it to them. I didn't manage to get in Top 10 in that class but I never let myself wonder too far from them. There were few subjects that always pulled me down. History, Moral and... ENGLISH~!!!! damn it... I was so poor in History until I scored remarkably well in one of the exam and even the teacher himself praised me. Since then, I pushed harder and harder until I was rank Top 20 (in history) in the school. That happened towards the end of Form 5. (so proud of that..)

SPM (something similar to O'level) I scored quite well. Then I wonder off from my humble town. It was so impromptu. A call from a friend asking whether do I want to share the rental for the house (in KL) and I agreed. Then I went to KL, Taylor's College. It is a good college with very experience teaching staffs. I met more people and these people made me feel so uncomfortable. It wasn't for their character but it was the language. A country boy joining a class where majority of them were City Kids with English as their main language? I tried... I tried to pick up but swapping from Malay to English is really hard. After the 1st exam, I decided to quit. I went back to my school and my school just happily offered me a place in L6S1 (Lower Form 6 Science 1) and miserably I went on to U6S1.

I thank God for a pause on that and it was during that period I figured out, I don't actually want to be an Engineer. I want something in combination of Art and Math. These were my strongest subject from day one I picked up my pencil. Then I found myself in HBP (Housing, Building & Planning) in a Local University, USM. It is so far away from my home and I have to start with it all over again. With the bad experience during my trial period in KL, I am now more prepared. In fact I picked up "A LOT" in my english subject during the 2 years in Form 6. My a lot may means nothing to many but that would also give you a picture how bad was I before then.

HBP is a school with combination of all the construction lines. With QS, Planning, Management of course ID and Architecture. Architecture was the hottest pick. 175 (?) students all aiming for that 60 vacancies.

Uni 1st semester is basically to filter out the students from Design and Non-Design classes. After the 1st semester, it was clear. Those were placed under Non-Design group would then choose from their designated majoring. 1st hurdle has cut the number to 105 (?) and the 2nd semester would then decide who to fill up the vacancies. Of course there were some people who swapped from ID to Archi or the other way round.

I finished my 3rd year with a Bachelor of Science. To complete with Bachelor of Architecture we need to pursue another 2 years in the same school. ( Stupid system in M'sia where other country would granted us a Master but M'sia likes her very own way of managing their students...) Another round of filtering from 60 (?) to 24. Gosh... I thank God I made it through...

My Uni life was really sweet and special. I met some of my best friends here who really help each other when in need and I met my ex-GFs here to. :) ( FYI, none of the GFs work.. how sad...) Lecturers here mostly MALAYsian but I have to say that some of them are really nice people. Saying that also means, some of them are just literally to make up the number. Fair system? Pui~! (*spitting) enough saying on that before I go on long and wide. I thought I could improve my language there but sorry, they just so don't like it when you speak English. :) Graduated twice with the same costume, same atmosphere, same people and even the chancellor who gave us the "empty" roll was the same.

Sent out resumes to KL and Penang firms and I was so impressed by the interviewers in a Penang firm. I literally pushed away some better offers for them and it last me only 1 full year with them. Haha. I learnt plenty from them and I think I pick up some very precious lessons for that particular year. :)

I moved to Singapore. I sent out the 1st batch of letters, went for interviews but it doesn't works. Guess my language has not do me a justice. Then 2nd batch, I sent out 2 and repeated the same procedure and I gotten both. I am glad that I joined this firm which I am still working with them. I really grew up a lot within the past 2 years with this firm. Good and Bad experiences but I remember my ex boss said this..."Take it as LESSON LEARNT". Yes, every incident is a tutorial to make me a better person. I picked up tremendously but at the same time, I filtered out what I think otherwise. I just couldn't follow instruction if they don't have a reason to justify that. So, I was tagged as Stubborn, Inobedient and Lazy in the office but surprisingly, my client think otherwise. :)

On the way back from Vietnam, I read an article. It was a self-write-up by somebody who should be well-known but sorry, Oscar is really bad in remembering names. There is a phrase saying this... "You just couldn't satisfy everybody... there bound to have people to walk in and say, oh gosh... look at what you have done... We can't help but you have to be sure that, you enjoyed what you have done.." (not a direct quote but it goes something similar to that..) So agree with her. She also said this.. "Don't let people stopping you to do what you feel that's right.." I don't know what exactly she is trying to tell but I agree partially to that. I take advices provided you have testify my way is wrong.....and... that is not stubborn... that's how I learn. :)

Thus far.. this is my life.. I am 29 and supposingly 30 if I have to follow the count of year. I predict myself going on to 65 - 70 provided there is no major accident in my life. So at this age, I have just step into the another half of my earthly journey.

Looking back... could anybody explain how I gone so far with the background and the environment I was in? :) I can't.... except.. by the grace of God.... I was nobody... and now I am just an ordinary person walking on the street... but.. I have repeatedly telling myself... I have to be somebody when I end my earthly journey....

Give thanks... Amen..

oh yeah... I am BACK.... :)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Notice

my blog is down for a while..and still unfixed.. i couldn't post any pictures.. neither could I adjust my layout... seriously thinking of setting up my own hosting.. :(

This blog is going to up and running soon..

Friday, June 12, 2009

我的家乡。。

原来我的家乡可以酱的来形容哦。。。 :)

Sibu

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Inspiring Susan Boyle

Susan Boyle, a 47 year-old lady, from nobody to somebody.

Watch Susan Boyle's clip HERE

Last night was the very 1st night I heard of this name. Was chatting with WS and she mentioned this name. I posted a question to her asked her who is "Susan Boyle" and she never gives me an answer but throw me these words..."you are so out" Nevertheless, I wasn't really bother by that.

Today, again, this name appeared on my screen again. When thing happens frequently, it means there is something special about it. If you still refuse to figure out why, then you are really "SO OUT". I typed this name in search engine and true enough, this is one of the hottest topic you could get.

Watched the entire 7 minutes Susan Boyle's clip from youtube. I have to say, she is amazing. When I saw this lady walking out from back stage, I was telling myself, this must be another William Hung's clip. Sarcastic remarks from the judges and it is obvious that nobody believe what is she capable of doing.

Less than 2 minutes, she changed the entrie world with her voice and slapped these disbelief audiance super hard. It gave me a blow too.... :) I salute her as how audiance did. It is very inspiring.

Nobody should be judged before they have a platform to show what they can do. Another meaningful words flash thorugh my mine... "If you are not confident at what you do, who else will?" These words translated perfectly at Susan Boyle.

Oscar, chin up~!! Tell the world what you can do~!!!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Broga Hill

Venue: Broga Hill, Selangor
Date: 24 May 2009
Photo + Hiking Kaki: All the wonderful people - ws, lb, lw, mei, aven, siyong and me

Wonderful Sunday it was. We made the trip an early one. Intended to see sunrise, though a bit disappointed as it was a cloudy morning but we still enjoy the chilling breeze and wonderful companion.

Broga Hill starts to has it's fame recently. It all started with some wonderful people with superb photography skill posted some pictures on flickers. (That's how I get to know this place and I assume that's how others know about it as well. :P )

I have never thought that I would have so much companion for the trip. We saw cars parking all over the places from road site leading all the way into the oil palm territory. Before we start the journey, we were still worry that we may miss out the landmark - "rabbit garden" but I guess, it is not too hard to spot the place with such an extra ordinary scene within such a secluded area.

The whole journey to the peak of the hill takes nothing more than 40 minutes. As for how challenging it is, that would very much depends on how fit you are but it shouldn't be a problem for a normal person to do this trip.

Should have taken more pictures if the sun is right and the crowd is smaller.... :) just 3..yeah.. only 3 images..

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Architectural Award : Kovan Residences, Singapore

click to enlarge

Date : 27th - 28th May 2009
Venue: BCA Green Mark Award Dinner (27th May); New Strait Times , Business Time (28th May)

Client: Centurion Kovan Pte Ltd
Project Cost: Approx. S$200 mil
Total Units: 521 units

A major award ever since my 1st Photography Award in year 2005. This award is not solely my personal effort as this is more to a team effort and most importantly, this is the 2nd dinner that I have to put on my formal suit.. hahaha.. :) 4th attempt to my nearly costly suit.

This is not the highest attribution of the night but we still feel proud that our names were advertised on paper.

click to enlarge

It is always good to have a client willing to pay for the Green Features. As I am part of the team, I have a chance to see through and have my hands on it to get the ball rolling. It is indeed a good experience for myself and also my personal resume.

So...Oscar is on paper again~!! :) Now I have my face/name on Malaysia & Singapore Newspaper. What's next? :)

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Sabah Post 2/2

Venue: Kota Kinabalu, Ranau, Tenom, Sabah, Malaysia
Date: 29th April to 4th May 2009
Travel Kaki: LB, WS, Yvonne, MC, KY, 阿姐1, 阿姐2 & me

2.5.2009
司机说会在6.30a.m 来接我们。。迟了15分钟,没影响大家的心情。到了山脚下,登记了,拍了公式的全体照,开始徒步上山。。2位导游+8个攀山客+2个13KG大背包(porters 代劳),我背了一个大概5KG的背包加上,加上我的相机,总重量该有8KG。

走了一段路,我头疼了。我猜应该是水平线的问题吧~!向LB要了粒 Panadol,果然见效。

导 游各自给了个便当盒,他说,我们到了4KM 的亭子才吃。。大伙没舍听他的,到了3KM亭子就吃了。就我阿 Q 了点,真到 4KM 才吃。。 :)一块干巴巴的鸡肉,一粒水煮蛋,8片三角形的芝士面包, 一粒红苹果 + 一罐。。。 SPRITE???天呀,给罐100号也好些啦~!!看着餐盒,最开胃的该是炸鸡肉了。。才咬了两口。。。够力。。我的鸡肉掉了在地上。。。 :(

4KM 开始气候转冷了。带了手套,加了件外套背包看是轻了些(但是那些重量却加在我的身上了。。。)我的阿Q philosophy motivate 了我一点。 :)4KM 以上的景开始变了。。MC形容说4KM以上开始“硬”了。。。不过他的“硬”也非空穴来风。。。地形,植物都硬了些。间接性的,4KM 后的路也难走些。 离开4KM后的一段路,是一段一直往上爬的梯级,高低不一。下山的人也多了。。每个下山的人我都会对他们笑,那是我对他们的respect。。不时碰到年 轻小伙子,我会对他们说。。“你们都是英雄”。今天早上的天气不适合上山,所以这些下山的人都回我同一句话。。“天气不好,我们没上顶,祝你们好运”

到 5KM 后,我和其他人离队了。因为我开始拍照了。。。这段路开始可以见到峰顶了。我也开始有点累了。。。在5KM休息亭歇了会,碰到一对新加玻夫妇,和他们聊 开。。老婆体型较小,绑个小马尾,运动装。。老公呢。。有点搞笑。。Polo T-shirt,工厂蓝色Jeans裤加黑皮带。。。老婆开始埋怨老公慢,老公怕被别 人嬉笑,马上回话说他没做之前准备。。。接下来的我也不想听了。。说来说去还不是为自己找下台阶??懒得理。。怕意外被他们的花枪伤及。。我站起来想走 先,看到云散后的峰顶,兴奋的叫那夫妇看。。那男的口德还真有限,丢了一句。。“who care? after all we all gonna die..” 我心想。。你要是不稀罕,别来嘛。。要是接受不了,下山嘛。。说什么屁话嘛。。。看他一身打扮好像要去Orchard走街。。我“又” 想。。。他可能以为每星期陪老婆逛街就有能力挑战神山吧。。(哈哈。。我是很喜欢想的一个构造物)

全程到顶峰是8.7KM,但是得在半山(6KM)隔夜。大概1540我抵达半山。当中出现了小插曲。。。发了脾气,放了狠话,那人也怕了。。。虽然他没完全达到我们的要求,但是我看到他尽力挽救。。。

天 沉,也冷了。。我一共穿了4件衣 (long john shirt,t-shirt, sweater, wind breaker), 3件裤 (long john pant, jeans & .........), 一对滑雪手套,一顶冷帽,一对耳套,两双袜,一个护膝套。。走到屋外,我还是觉得有点冷。 走快些,希望快点到房间。。突然Yvonne叫到,“啊~!流星~!” 不晓得 LB 看到没,我没看到。。。我感觉我对流星真还没什么缘分呢。一生只看到3颗流星,其中两颗是在槟城。。那可是闻名的“流星雨”。。每个人少说都会看到10颗 以 上。。我坐在阳台半小时有多。。就两颗。 :( 还有一颗是在云顶,那是教会的营会。。我走狗屎云,看到一颗。。。)

害怕明天一早头疼,又啪下了2粒Panadol,爬上床,盖上两件被。。睡吧~!!
3.5.2009
0130 起床,其实没什么睡到。。2300 就醒了。走到房外。太漂亮了。。管它3颗一线还是7颗一排,每颗星都那么亮。远方的天空不时闪着亮光。。。那不是星。。那是闪电。。我担心了。。

餐厅的灯光好亮,看到里边的人走动。我仿佛可以感觉到里边的暖。我想起了童年了故事。。《卖火材的女孩》

到 餐厅,说是有“宵夜”补充体力。每个人都吃了。。就我,拿了一片面包,搽了牛油+加椰对半,然后对角褶起来。。一个正方形就变成长形了。那是我吃面包的惯 动作。。 一片小面包,放在一个大圆盘。。我拿到了桌上。。我没吃。。因为我头疼。像是千针扎。。导游进来,讲解待会的路程。他该是看到我猛捶头,就丢了一句话 说,如果在500m后你们还是觉得头疼,不要勉强,那是很危险的。我吞了一口超大口的口水。。。天啊,就最后 2.7KM 了,怎么可以~!!!
要了3粒panadol,吞了两粒,一粒塞在牛仔裤的小口袋,怕似不够强,要补多一粒。。两粒还是不太见效。。怕了。。心里一直重复“神啊,帮助我。。”也不懂重复了几次。。。

好 暗。。走了5分钟,看到了一扇铁门,没看清楚它有多高,因为身后还有好多人在跟着。跨过铁门,就是木梯。。每个人都带 头灯。头灯打在石梯上,攀山客一步一步往上爬。。。走了一阵,我快喘不过气了。。我往边站,往上看,希望可以看到7KM的登记站。。没有。。没有任何建筑 物。。不过我看到了一条长长的白点。。好长好长。。一直紧接着。。那是每个攀山客的头灯。。好像小时候看到的蚂蚁队。。

到了6.7KM, 看到白点都停下来了。。。是考手力的时候了,一条直径5cm的白绳交在我手里。我用力抓紧,右脚往上踩,左脚提上来的同时,右手往上捉。。一左一右,开始适应那节奏了。。我偷瞄了后面。。。看不到。。我的头灯照不到。。继续爬。。

到 了登记处。。那。。太不一样了吧。。我想象中的登记处因该至少是一个有门有灯有暖气的建筑物嘛。这个登记处,大概2m x 2m x 2.4m 高的有盖盒子, 一张椅子,一个登记台,没灯。。那拿笔的就靠他的头灯来读白纸上的黑字。。见到LB和阿姐2,其他人都散了。。我们3人确定那人在名单旁打个勾后继续往前 走。。又 是绳。。。同样的动作。。LB大胆些,她不捉绳,缓缓的站起来走着。我很担心。。一直啰嗦着,叫她捉着绳来爬。。阿姐2看到LB的方式,她也学了。。我 还是坚持我的动作。。因为我真的有点怕高。。爬了好一段20度的斜坡。。风好强,一直往我左边的脸打。。我的脸麻了。。我也累了。。。往旁边坐,背向左, 那风就不会打在我唯一没包起来的脸。。。。就在我背左面右时,我往Donkey Ears 的方向看。。够力。。天快亮了。。我站起来,不拉绳了,那太慢了。我学那2个队友般走起来了。是轻松些,不过还是很快累。因为空气实在是太稀了。。

我 开始紧张。。天时,地利都有了。。怎可败在人和??我决定不坐下来休息了。。决对没时间给我坐下了。。我走。。我每20步就停下来,站着大口大口的呼 吸。。20步又20步,又站着,强风把我吹得有点摇晃。。停停走走,我越过阿姐2,我对她说。。“来,不要停了,到了前面那里才休息。。” 阿姐问我。。。“前面吗???” 看似蛮近的一段路。。平时应该是5分钟的路程。。我说,“对~!在那儿见~!!” 也越过LB。。。我 越过她时对她说。。“不可以放弃。。要到了。。天要亮了加油。。” 看到天快亮了,心更急了,32步,40步,101步,200步。。。我口一步一步的算,脚一步一步地踩。。不可以停。。我开始自言自语。。说来说去就是那 几句。。“来,加油~!快到了。。不可以停。。” 我的脚步加快。。我越过的人也越多。。我每越过一个人我都会对他们说。。“hey...don't give up... almost there.. the sun is rising... ” 只有一个人对我的鼓励有反应。。。他回我很沉的一句 “I know...” 其他人应该是累到不想开口。。我 走到和阿姐2约定的时间。。天啊,还有一段距离才到顶。。不等她们了,在说,就那么一条路,她们不会迷路吧。。我没停,继续走。。我看到牌匾写着。。 8KM, 还有700m。 不过我开始看到很多人都坐+躺在地上,我微微看到自己的影子。。不过我不再急了,因为这里的景色太美了。。就石头。。灰色的石头。。不过那阳光把这灰沉的 石头给带活了。。我脱下背包。。把相机带拿出来往腰里绑。。啊~!绑不到。。带了手套的手不再灵活。。我看到隔壁一个攀山可,要求他帮忙。。应该是个马来 人。。他试了第一次,说,“the clip cannot reach.. it seems like you have to loosen up a bit.." 我回他,"No, I need it to be tight. Please try again..." 他再试。。嗒~!!行了。。我背起背包,开始拍照了。。我停不下来。。我一直走。。一直拍。。太漂亮了。。我喜欢我的照片有人物。。我开口问了好多 人。。。情侣,大汉,团队,少年。。。没有一个拒绝我。。他们都乐意让我拍。。 我拍了好多好多。爬上爬下,我脚没停, 我手也没停,我的眼更忙。。一幕接一幕,我没时间想构图。。我只能靠感觉。。因为我知道那黄金时段的短暂。。

看到一位其他团队的导游站在 石壁上抽烟。。我问他 "Bang, boleh ambil gambar? Gambar bang merokok?" 他同意了。。就呼了一团白烟出来。可能他太刻意想让我拍那白烟,我反而觉得好假。。我不喜欢。不过我没说,只是继续拍。。他吹了2口,看到我还是顶着相 机,他也烦了,不理我了。。:)正中下怀~!!就是我要的~!!!哈哈~!!接着连拍了几张,看了效果,还不错。。我就找下个目标了。。
看 到一对女生,她们拿着相机叫一个黑人帮她动作照,她们要往上跳~!!!黑人试了说不行。我走过去说,"Can I help??" 她们兴奋极了。。一,二,三。。咔嚓,卡嚓,咔嚓。。。连拍了几张。。:)捉到了~!!!给她们看了照片,她们也开心。。一个女的问我, 为什么要拍她们的照片。。我不懂怎么回答。。我只说,待会在餐厅见,我会给她们照片。。那女的怕见不到面,要了我的手提号码(到现在都没来电。。我失恋 了。。哈哈)

一边找主题,一边往最高峰爬。。好多人往下走。。峰顶也没人了。。我待那KL团队拍完照。。又是团体照,又是个人照,好 久哦。。他们拍完了。。我走到顶,脚踩在那不过1m x 1m 大的洋灰平台,举起我的大拇指,咔嚓~!KL Uncle 帮我拍了3张照。。是的,海拔4095m, 8.7KM 远。。我做到了~!!!!!

我忘了下山的那段路。。我已经没多少力气了。。下山的路不易走。。一,我的脚已经不听使唤了。 二,那看不到底的斜坡让你每踩下的一步都心寒。 三,没其他人了。。大多数的人都离开了。

一 个人走,真的很孤单。。往前看,就看到那丁点的小黑点,往后看,灰沉沉的石头。。我开始有好多奇怪的问题出现。。人生目标。。人生意义。。五年大计。。十 年大计。。我走走停停。。因为我的脚指被鞋顶着。。这脚指承受的是我全身的压力。。很痛。我的脚步好小。。好像小孩的脚步。我跟着地上的白绳走。那是我唯 一的指标。如果没那绳,我确定。。我肯定回不去。。

下山不累,但肌肉开始痛。。脚开始抖,每走几步路都会感觉脚软了下去。这种感觉有点熟悉。那是我跑槟威大桥时的感觉。。你不懂得累了,不过你的身体已经极限了。这时的我,不再靠体力来走,而是意志力。。。

刚 过8KM的牌匾不久。。看到一个军装攀山客还在走上来。。黄色背包。。我认得这个背包。前一天我见过这个背包。。背包还插着一只Manfrotto Tripod。这三脚架的重量不轻。少说2KG。虽然他还年轻,不过这重量在这种环境是比想象的重好多倍。在说。。拿这三角架,应该还有个很不轻的相机 吧。。我不晓得该对他说什么。照理,他是不可以往上爬 了。那地方的温度开始上升,人开始下山,而且看他的体力应该到了极限了。他每走2步,就停。我缓缓走近他,想劝他别逞强。就在我靠近时,我看到他背包的三 脚架,我说 "bro, not too far away, try your best to reach there. At least set your feet at 8km.." 他哼了一声。。我猜,他也是摄影爱好者。。我知道他也和我一样,想把漂亮的神山收在他的记忆卡里。。唯一的不同是,我的记忆卡有了感动我的画面,而他的记 忆卡还是空的。所以,就在我开口的那一刻,我选择鼓励他。。。我继续往下走。。走了一段路,我回头看,我看到他缓缓地坐下来。。我不懂他最后走到哪,是否 有 拍到好照片个,不过他的决心让我五体投地。。。

同样的路程。。但是这一趟更考胆量。因为我看到了我今早没看到的恐怖。。我猜我应该没有失败的余地。我手抓得比之前更紧。因为那10cm的脚踩地是那么的有限。你踩失了,就靠你手中的绳。如果没抓紧。。。那。。 :)
0910 回到餐厅。好饿。。7个队友都吃饱了,其中Yvonne下山了。我叫他们别等我,先下去收拾,我吃好就来。。我站着等那一男一女的厨师添菜,因为前一轮的 自助餐都被吃完了。。我站着,脚还在抖。我见水果切好了,就吃起苹果来。边吃边等。。那个早餐,我吃了2轮。。因为。。我饿了。。 

稍微 休息了会,我下山了。我没力气再背我的相机带了。我把相机带塞进LB的大袋里,交给porters。 我真的佩服那19岁的小男生。13kg不轻,但是 加在他们的身上他们却是那么的不以为意。1kg =RM 8.00,那2天的“多余体重”换来的酬劳也不过是 RM 104。我佩服他。我不同情他,因为我一直认为我不该以我的角度来衡量别人的处境。如果他不觉得自己痛苦,我为什么要施舍我的同情呢?他不是乞丐,他也不 想当乞丐。毕竟每个人心中的尺都不同。如果硬要我来衡量,我只以一种东西来衡量。。“快乐”

“快乐”是如此的公平。。百万富豪的快乐 是如此。。19岁 porters 的快乐也是如此。。可能这19岁小伙子的快乐程度还比那富豪高呢。。Porters 需要你的同情吗?Laos 要饭的小孩需要你的同情吗?Bali捡柴老妇需要你的同情吗?我不是冷血。。我的定义很简单。。不要随便施舍你的同情心。。。可能你的同情会对他有反效 果。。不要排斥他,不要贬低他。。我想那是比同情他更好的对待。。。
4.5.2009

在CJ家过了一夜。他没骗我,他的房真的很热。。。一早,我就被载到机场。。口里一直碎碎念,怪他太早丢下我。。但是我们都知道。。那只是我们沟通的其中一种方式。。。他始终是我旅行的好拍档。。

见了WS+MC,吃了肯德基椰浆饭。。。回了~!!

花絮:
我的身体全疆了。。我的腿还在痛。。
手脱皮了。。。很恶心。。
间接性的害我整个星期都睡迟。。
CJ的屋主好亲切。。他太太的炒面不太咸。。